Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

From Roger Ebert’s mailbag: On the Breeding Properties of M&Ms

[via brokengentleman]

(via marklisanti)

When someone burps really loud

howtobealandshark:

Normal people:

Me and my friends: 

Anonymous asked: Greetings. Tell me something.

Today, this really nice guy bought me

after I told him I love mangoes 2 weeks ago. I think he’s a keeper.

thewayshefeels-:

ugh, I want this.

thewayshefeels-:

ugh, I want this.

(via ebinnflow)

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